I am feeling bummed this week… Think it’s the realization that I am that much closer to turning 31… I just want to scream “happy fucking birthday” to myself right now… still have a few days to go though… Sorry I just have to get this out… You know I blog about everything happy and sad.
This just is sooo NOT where I thought I would be at almost 31. Its just hitting me really hard. I realize that I have like 1 friend here in town and a bunch out of town – and that makes me really sad. I almost wish I were back in Scottsdale now, but Scott is back there and that would just add to my sadness!!! Going from April to August with only 1 friend who even called made me realize I don’t have the friends I thought I did, maybe I never did. I used to have soo many friends I knew I could depend on through anything, but to have gone through almost 6 months of the worst Hell of my life and have 1 friend there really hurt, still hurts. Being the life of the party for so many years is kind of backfiring now – I never didn’t have a ton a friends.
Its really hitting as I am getting closer to my birthday and only having my family to celebrate it with. I don’t have a husband to celebrate with anymore (like I have the past couple of years) – I used to love just having him to go out with, it didn’t hurt to not have a bunch of friends to celebrate with. Gone are the days when I had soo many people to go out to dinner with for my birthday every year… We used to all have so much fun – and yet now I am sooo freaking alone!
Maybe that’s just it – maybe not being married on this birthday is really hitting me hard. I hate not being able to get over this – but my heart is still soo absolutely sad and devastated. Its like I feel I am doing soo good and then wham things like this come around and bring back the happy memories of being married.
I know I have come a long way and I totally pull it off that I am just fine – but sometimes I am not. I almost wish he had cheated on me or yelled at me or hit me – anything to make it easier to move on from him….
I just feel like I should be married with kids by now… Hell most of my friends have multiple kids who are older by now and I am stuck back at dating again… I told a friend yesterday I feel like Marissa Tomei’s character on My Cousin Vinny “My biological clock is ticking like this.” I mean seriously everyone knows how much I love kids – I have practically raised a lot of them already and am really, really good at it. I just wonder will it ever be my time… will I ever get the chance to raise a family? I know I am a total dork, but having a family is the one thing I look forward to the most.
On a positive note, I have now been between .2 and .4 lbs away from the 20 pound weight loss goal before I can have my surgery. I go in to see my dietician tomorrow so hopefully we can start the process of setting a date. This has been a huge accomplishment for me, and I am feeling soo much better energy wise. We have a new client coming on mid Oct so I am not sure if I can have the surgery before then. If not it will be end Oct probably. Either way I will be happy! Just wish I could keep all that money
Spent Saturday with my sisters in-laws watching the game! I got to play with her twin nieces who were sooo absolutely adorable! I had a blast – her in-laws have always been soo much fun! The twins were hysterical and had soooo much energy. They have like white blonde hair and bright blues are so cute with their little laughs.
I am looking forward to Sarah’s sister, Rachel’s wedding this weekend! Should be a lot of fun! Plus I get to see Sarah again – YAY!!
Oh ya and all the political articles about Palin being from a small town, etc… really gets me sad since I was from a small town – so seriously just back off and quit trying to me it sound like because I am from Oklahoma I am lesser than those of you in other states… I know my economics, I know my morals and I know what I want from a President just as each and every American should, and has the right to. Just because I am for McCain/Palin does not make me stupid and I don’t appreciate being told so by soooooo many people. I believe what I believe, BUT I always BELIEVE EVERY AMERICAN HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES. Don’t send another story from the Wall Street Journal and say its unbiased – HELLO people where have you been? That’s like saying something from The Daily Oklahoman isn’t biased conservatively!
I am happy for anyone who understands what they believe in and why – as long as you make a decision and go vote! Please just lay off the name calling cuz this has been a really shitty week for me and I really cant take one more personal insult because its just building up in me and I don’t need that! I am asking nicely, thank you!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
9/29/08 Elect nobody old post
Worthy of your time and attention regardless of your Party Affiliation.
Even though I fully support McCain/Palin... this article put into words exactly what I have been thinking for a long time!! I think alot of you probably feel the same way no matter who you support for President!
545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human beings out of the
300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of
300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way. There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation,' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
*** keep in mind what party controls each segment... The President doesnt have as much power as you might believe!!
Even though I fully support McCain/Palin... this article put into words exactly what I have been thinking for a long time!! I think alot of you probably feel the same way no matter who you support for President!
545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human beings out of the
300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of
300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way. There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation,' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
*** keep in mind what party controls each segment... The President doesnt have as much power as you might believe!!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
9/20/08 old post
Sorry, I write on my Myspace page and forget about all of you! I think I need to explain a few things!
As most of you know my entire world was shattered back in April when my now ex-husband quit his job at News 9, left me in like 15 minutes and went back to Scottsdale because he couldn't handle me not getting better after my back surgery. The hardest part is he still wants to be my best friend and always emails me.
For months I was destroyed and heart broken. I married for life, so this was horrible for me. But over that time alot happened inside of me. I swear I grew up like 10 years in 6 months. I made a decision to finally quit smoking April 9 and have stuck to it. I made a decision to get all the weight off me that has accumulated esp over the 2 years in bed. With help from my Dr and dietician I am on the best diet ever. It makes grocery shopping easier, because its pretty much all fresh produce and meat. I have stuck to that too, although at the beginiing I didnt stick to it like I should have. I hadnt lost any weight and was frustrated and then all of a sudden I dropped almost 14 pounds in a week and 3 days, and now have dropped17.3 pounds in 2 weeks! Once I hit 20 pounds down I can start the process of having my surgery which will really change my life for the positive!! I am sooo excited!!
Once my back finally started doing alot better, I took the time to find a job I would love. I was very fortunate to find a job just like the one I loved in Scottsdale with Maxcare, owned by the Pharmacists Assoc. I LOVE IT, and love the people I work with!
It made me focus on all aspects of my life… where I am at, where I am going, and where I want to go. It made me realize that I am not getting any younger… I thought about what it is I want in life and this is what I came up with…
Heres part of my blof from MS:
I loved being married. I loved laughing every night before bed and every morning when we woke up. It was such an amazing feeling to have your best friend there all the time. Cuddling together is one of the most awesome moments! Of course, divorce was NEVER an option for me. It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that I had no choice in the matter. But I have to look at it like, well it just wasn't meant to be and I have to accept that, no matter how much I don't like it! I have picked myself up and moved on and am in a really good place now. Talking to a friend tonight really made me realize what it is I want…
I want to get married again, hopefully sometime in the near future. I want all those butterflies to come back everytime I see someone. As Carrie Bradshaw said in Sex and the City… "Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,
challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." Everyone deserves to have that person that loves you for just being you… And noone should settle for any less – never ever.
At this point in my life I feel like I don't even want to waste my time trying to find dates… I don't have the luxury of that anymore. I want to find someone that is really ready to commit to settling down and raising kiddos. I want the whole family thing! I want to have that nice Catholic family down the street that everyone bbq's with. I want what I had growing up and I only hope that it will happen for me eventually! I want someone that cant wait to see me everyday.
I have been really focusing on making myself a better me this year. I quit smoking back in April (kuddos to Matthew for giving me idea to do it)! I am such a healthy eater now – have lost about 14 pounds in a week and a half now! I resist temptation to cheat on my diet – which is something I never thought I could do! I really focused my job search on what I really wanted to do with my life and it paid off! And now its just a matter of weeks before I will be able to have my surgery, which I am soo excited about!! So after I have reached all my goals, I truly feel like I will be soo ready to be in a relationship again. I miss that feeling so much! I just hope one day I will mean alot to someone, someone who appreciates me for all my quirks and hyperness.
I am soo excited I get to go out for a bachelorette party this weekend – it should be a blast! I cant wait to get to hang out with the girls!!
Oh yeah – my job is soo awesome! So glad for all my Caremark training – its come into good use! It keeps my mind working all day long!"
So hope that helps some peeps understand why I say the divorce may have been the best thing to ever happen to me!! If it had been up tp me I would still be married!
As most of you know my entire world was shattered back in April when my now ex-husband quit his job at News 9, left me in like 15 minutes and went back to Scottsdale because he couldn't handle me not getting better after my back surgery. The hardest part is he still wants to be my best friend and always emails me.
For months I was destroyed and heart broken. I married for life, so this was horrible for me. But over that time alot happened inside of me. I swear I grew up like 10 years in 6 months. I made a decision to finally quit smoking April 9 and have stuck to it. I made a decision to get all the weight off me that has accumulated esp over the 2 years in bed. With help from my Dr and dietician I am on the best diet ever. It makes grocery shopping easier, because its pretty much all fresh produce and meat. I have stuck to that too, although at the beginiing I didnt stick to it like I should have. I hadnt lost any weight and was frustrated and then all of a sudden I dropped almost 14 pounds in a week and 3 days, and now have dropped17.3 pounds in 2 weeks! Once I hit 20 pounds down I can start the process of having my surgery which will really change my life for the positive!! I am sooo excited!!
Once my back finally started doing alot better, I took the time to find a job I would love. I was very fortunate to find a job just like the one I loved in Scottsdale with Maxcare, owned by the Pharmacists Assoc. I LOVE IT, and love the people I work with!
It made me focus on all aspects of my life… where I am at, where I am going, and where I want to go. It made me realize that I am not getting any younger… I thought about what it is I want in life and this is what I came up with…
Heres part of my blof from MS:
I loved being married. I loved laughing every night before bed and every morning when we woke up. It was such an amazing feeling to have your best friend there all the time. Cuddling together is one of the most awesome moments! Of course, divorce was NEVER an option for me. It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that I had no choice in the matter. But I have to look at it like, well it just wasn't meant to be and I have to accept that, no matter how much I don't like it! I have picked myself up and moved on and am in a really good place now. Talking to a friend tonight really made me realize what it is I want…
I want to get married again, hopefully sometime in the near future. I want all those butterflies to come back everytime I see someone. As Carrie Bradshaw said in Sex and the City… "Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,
challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." Everyone deserves to have that person that loves you for just being you… And noone should settle for any less – never ever.
At this point in my life I feel like I don't even want to waste my time trying to find dates… I don't have the luxury of that anymore. I want to find someone that is really ready to commit to settling down and raising kiddos. I want the whole family thing! I want to have that nice Catholic family down the street that everyone bbq's with. I want what I had growing up and I only hope that it will happen for me eventually! I want someone that cant wait to see me everyday.
I have been really focusing on making myself a better me this year. I quit smoking back in April (kuddos to Matthew for giving me idea to do it)! I am such a healthy eater now – have lost about 14 pounds in a week and a half now! I resist temptation to cheat on my diet – which is something I never thought I could do! I really focused my job search on what I really wanted to do with my life and it paid off! And now its just a matter of weeks before I will be able to have my surgery, which I am soo excited about!! So after I have reached all my goals, I truly feel like I will be soo ready to be in a relationship again. I miss that feeling so much! I just hope one day I will mean alot to someone, someone who appreciates me for all my quirks and hyperness.
I am soo excited I get to go out for a bachelorette party this weekend – it should be a blast! I cant wait to get to hang out with the girls!!
Oh yeah – my job is soo awesome! So glad for all my Caremark training – its come into good use! It keeps my mind working all day long!"
So hope that helps some peeps understand why I say the divorce may have been the best thing to ever happen to me!! If it had been up tp me I would still be married!
Monday, September 8, 2008
09/08/08 OLD POST
Here is why I usually side with Republicans... But I have liked McCain forever especially because of his bipartisan efforts throughout the years. Seeing him bring both parties together on things has always made me respect him more than most republicans... I saw this video and thought it pretty much summed up my beliefs.
Those of you who actually took economics in college might have a clue about "Reaganomics", if you don’t understand economics your really cant make a good argument for either side then. Reaganomics was the most serious attempt to change the course of U.S. economic policy of any administration since the New Deal. "Only by reducing the growth of government," said Ronald Reagan, "can we increase the growth of the economy." Reagan's 1981 Program for Economic Recovery had four major policy objectives: (1) reduce the growth of government spending, (2) reduce the marginal tax rates on income from both labor and capital, (3) reduce regulation, and (4) reduce inflation by controlling the growth of the money supply.
Reading that policy how can you NOT side Republican? It’s easy to follow someone who seems all glorious and has a large celebrity following, but do you really have a clue what they really stand for. I think if some of you really understood the fundamental basis of the Democrats you just might change your mind, or even give pause to think about what it is your really supporting. Is it because everyone you know in your town is democrat and so you side with them, is it because he seems like a cool candidate. Its easy to be cool when you have no background to prove that you would be a good leader.No way to see what he would do as President when he only voted PRESENT like a hundred and something times and didn’t vote yes or no… Is that really the kind of President you want, someone who sits back and lets others do the deciding for him without having to take a stand and make a decision??? Chances are he will do it again since he has a proven track record of doing it!
If you do understand and you still believe in him more power to you because as an American we have the right to believe. I just want people to know why they are supporting one side or the other and not just supporting someone for nonimportant reasons.
Those of you who actually took economics in college might have a clue about "Reaganomics", if you don’t understand economics your really cant make a good argument for either side then. Reaganomics was the most serious attempt to change the course of U.S. economic policy of any administration since the New Deal. "Only by reducing the growth of government," said Ronald Reagan, "can we increase the growth of the economy." Reagan's 1981 Program for Economic Recovery had four major policy objectives: (1) reduce the growth of government spending, (2) reduce the marginal tax rates on income from both labor and capital, (3) reduce regulation, and (4) reduce inflation by controlling the growth of the money supply.
Reading that policy how can you NOT side Republican? It’s easy to follow someone who seems all glorious and has a large celebrity following, but do you really have a clue what they really stand for. I think if some of you really understood the fundamental basis of the Democrats you just might change your mind, or even give pause to think about what it is your really supporting. Is it because everyone you know in your town is democrat and so you side with them, is it because he seems like a cool candidate. Its easy to be cool when you have no background to prove that you would be a good leader.No way to see what he would do as President when he only voted PRESENT like a hundred and something times and didn’t vote yes or no… Is that really the kind of President you want, someone who sits back and lets others do the deciding for him without having to take a stand and make a decision??? Chances are he will do it again since he has a proven track record of doing it!
If you do understand and you still believe in him more power to you because as an American we have the right to believe. I just want people to know why they are supporting one side or the other and not just supporting someone for nonimportant reasons.
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