Having my surgery

So my surgery is scheduled for 10am Monday morning at Foundation Bariatric Hospital… the old Renaissance Hospital in Edmond. I am soo excited! I feel like I am getting my life back. The best part is how absolutely healthy I am eating now. I swear its like once I got off eating so much carbs I stopped craving them completely. Its weird because now that I am more than 20 pounds lighter I am soo encouraged to keep losing this weight. ALthough celebrating my birthday with all liquids won't be too much fun!

I know I have a long way to go… a long, long way! But I am so happy to have an opportunity to get this weight off. Since April I gained over 50 pounds… I know that a lot of that was due to quitting smoking and all the medications I was put on which ALL cause weight gain but I have learned how to overcome this the best I can.

I thank those who have contacted me to wish me the best… It really means a lot to me, especially to those that go as far back as elementary school!! I will let you all know how I am as soon as I get online. I will be staying overnight Monday and should leave by Tuesday morning… I can stay Tuesday night oo but I think I will want to come home by then.

From then on it will be liquids for a few weeks, then smooshy foods, then semi solid foods… So for a month or so I wont be eating regular food. I am surprised to know the broth everyone loves is available at The Dollar Tree… RANDOM!

Seeing my sister tonight at Matthew's party really made me excited to think I may actually get back to my high school weight again in the next year or two. As she said though she is still that small because she is a surgery resident and that's what it does to her… I won't ever be as stressed as she must be, esp during her trauma rotation…

I am honest about all this because that's how I live my life now… no secrets here – I am an open book! I am who I am and won't ever pretend to be anyone I am not! I was skinny for soo much of my life that when all 3 of my surgeries happened over the years the weight just kept coming on with all the complications.. And with the car accident keeping in my pain and in bed on and off for 2 years the weight gain was horrific. With all the complications from the 360 degree spinal fusion I never thought I was going to survive it! When things finally did turn for the better, my husband left and went back to AZ leaving me shattered and not healed with no job, no income, no hope…

Yet here I am today – mentally sooo much happier, finally have hope again, quit smoking in April, have an incredible job, and am eating soo healthy losing now over 20 pounds. I am still extremely sad my marriage didn't last, but I know I deserve someone who will stick by my side through everything.

I just wish I will give hope to someone to cope with whatever it is they may be going through. It WILL be ok… You will turn out to be a stronger person because of the hard times – they shape who you become! I am stronger than I ever believed I could be and now know I can get through just about everything! In a way it may be a blessing to have gone through so much, so young because I have learned soo much from it all! Most people don't learn what I have until they are 50 or 60. I don't have much to be scared about anymore.

This surgery is a gift to myself… A gift to pay myself back for the 2 miserable years I had with my severe back pain and back surgery that cost me my marriage! I gave myself my lungs back by quitting my almost 2 pack a day cigarette habit, and now I am giving myself my body back by this gastric sleeve operation!! Its like getting my teenage size stomach back without anything too drastic or foreign objects in my body. Plus the part that produces the "hunger" hormone is in the part removed so I will lose all sense of hunger after the surgery! It will last about 30 minutes and I will have about 6 quarter inch incisions and one 1inch incision. I will be up and walking within and hour after the operation. After my back surgery it should be a piece of cake!

I am so excited – my boss and coworker said they would come visit me after work Monday – that is soo awesome of them. One just had my surgery 3 months ago and the other had the band about 6 years ago. They look amazing!! Plus my head boss wants me to call him when I wake up so he knows I am ok… I am very lucky to be working with such great people! I guess things happen for a reason!!

Quick shout out to Heather for standing by my side since April and never letting me give up! Thank you for listening to me talk on and on about how in shock I was that he left and not killing me for having to listen to it all the time!! You have picked me up soo many times and I thank you soo much! Thank you for believing in me when even I didn't! Thanks for not letting me ruin everything I have worked so hard for and for keeping me away from our friends that would have led me astray! It means so much to me!!!