In response to a family member who just dropped out of high school, proudly it seems... These ended up casuing a huge family ordeal but I firmly believe children need guidance to stay in school not leave it NO matter what!
Allison Lang Buechner
Its just soo hard when youryears older than your age and you know soo much more and you remember how you used to think you knew soo much stuff that you knew as much as everyone and yet I see now how much I didn't then.
I just hate to sit back not have said something when I see something that could hurt you soo, soo much in the future... and just allowed you to go through with a decision that only ten years from now you will fully realize the consequences of.
I am soo not against you - I will love you no matter your faults as you know we sure as hell have our own issues and noone is perfect nor ever will be. We have all fucked up and made stupid decisions that alot of people have disapproved of - look my sister still wont talk to me because I took Scott back. ... See More
What you don't know is my entire family had to leave our town I grew up in because of me and things that happened to me.. my mom & dad had to get new jobs, my sister had to change schools like soo fast - I was made fun of for being from a small town and ridiculed for soo many years because of it... it was hell and everyone in my family blamed me for it.. So many times I didnt want to live much less go to class so ya I know what its like to go through hell at your age - at that time they didnt let you cye your hair or have piercings either. I wasnt perfect but I NEVER would have left school nor would I have been allowed to as my ass would have been kicked out soo fast if I had like great you decided that then you can get a job and pay your own bills - there was no other decision in my family thank god my parents wanted soo much more for me and fought for me to finish school.
I want you to know that I went through my own personal hell at your age... You arent the only one who has gone through hell at your age. At 17 I thought I was pregnant and got to sit with my dad waiting for an ultrasound... imagine how much fun that was sitting with my dad who was fuming mad and yet kindly supportive as he knew how scared I was. But even if I had been prtegnant thank god my parents were there for me and would have helped me raise it so I could stay in school. So if your dad is there for you I am happy - thats what counts you need that more than anything you need in your life right now. I just hate to see you ruin your life by making a decision I swear you will never fully be aware of the consequences of for at least ten years down the line. I hate to see you be limited to menial jobs when you have a good head on your shoulders and deserve better in life.
I also hate to see you wasting your time in school if your not into it. I really wish you had a better counseling department at your school so you never even got this far. Just know that even with GED you will always make less the rest of your life. I am soo not scolding you just worried for you. Scotts brother and cousin both dropped out and got GEDs and my husband never eeven went to college because he is in an industry where you get paid more on years experience than a degree. You do have possibilities. I will tell you my husband should have dropped out because his ADHD was soo bad he recalls hardly anything from school - its gets annoying at times because he doesnt know some simple things yet is soo proficient a videographer/editor and he is very happy doing this job.
So the truth is you have to do what makes you happy but you have to know that every decision you make has consequences - I know that more than most as I fuck up everything in my life and always have and alot of people will tell you that which only makes you feel even more like shit - nothing has ever been easy for me its always bee the hard way and I guess thats just my cross to bear.
The reason I almost dropped out of college my 2nd year was I had been attacked and I was flunking out of all my classes and I had never even made a C even on a homework assignment my whole life - but my life was soo screwed up. I couldn't face flunking out of a semester because in college its almost impossible to ever overcome those grades. After going home & realizing all my bills, etc I went back & studied my ass off missed every party and barely ended up with all C's - thank god for that.
Also, I want you to know that even if you get your GED don't just think you have to go to college right away. I think soo many people should have waited until they really figured out who they are and what they want to do before wasting a shitload of $ on school... Take this time to find jobs you enjoy dont just settle... Outback was ALWAYS good to my sister from 16 yrs up through college.
Find somewhere fun that you really enjoy and dont dread going to each day. Thats when you will find fullfulment in your life if not in school.. Right now its just important that you find happiness and I am very glad your dad is there to support you because no matter how many awful times I have had my parents have always supported me even when I thought they would kill me.
Don't ever think Im judging you or hate you or am turning my back on you - its the opposite - Ive been through soo much hell I would hate to see anyone else go through what I have had to go through if they dont have to. But the thing is I can't protect you - only you can live your life and figure out what makes you happy. I will be here for you no matter how much you screw up or how happy you are. You deserve love from your family As much as I would love to show you the consequences of this decision I cant because its your life no matter howvery young you are. Just keep your dad involved in our life whether you want to or not as he will be a great resource for you. Im sorry you are even having to make this decision, but I will always love you and always be here for you even if its just to scream about something I dont even know a thing about. Just please dont think I am criticising you - Im just going through alot right now trying to fight for my own marriage for the 2nd time in a row so I am a lil raw right now!
See life isn't always cheery even if you try to as hard as you can because life happens and you cant change it!
Hopefully Scott & I will see you in August when we come for our best friends wedding. I really hope by then you are doing great and that we can all hang out. We are planning on coming in a lil longer so we can get more time with you all & you can show him Garden of the Gods as he has never been theirl Please keep me updated even if you dont want to as I do worry about you and hope for the best!
love you LOTS, ally
I just hate to sit back not have said something when I see something that could hurt you soo, soo much in the future... and just allowed you to go through with a decision that only ten years from now you will fully realize the consequences of.
I am soo not against you - I will love you no matter your faults as you know we sure as hell have our own issues and noone is perfect nor ever will be. We have all fucked up and made stupid decisions that alot of people have disapproved of - look my sister still wont talk to me because I took Scott back. ... See More
What you don't know is my entire family had to leave our town I grew up in because of me and things that happened to me.. my mom & dad had to get new jobs, my sister had to change schools like soo fast - I was made fun of for being from a small town and ridiculed for soo many years because of it... it was hell and everyone in my family blamed me for it.. So many times I didnt want to live much less go to class so ya I know what its like to go through hell at your age - at that time they didnt let you cye your hair or have piercings either. I wasnt perfect but I NEVER would have left school nor would I have been allowed to as my ass would have been kicked out soo fast if I had like great you decided that then you can get a job and pay your own bills - there was no other decision in my family thank god my parents wanted soo much more for me and fought for me to finish school.
I want you to know that I went through my own personal hell at your age... You arent the only one who has gone through hell at your age. At 17 I thought I was pregnant and got to sit with my dad waiting for an ultrasound... imagine how much fun that was sitting with my dad who was fuming mad and yet kindly supportive as he knew how scared I was. But even if I had been prtegnant thank god my parents were there for me and would have helped me raise it so I could stay in school. So if your dad is there for you I am happy - thats what counts you need that more than anything you need in your life right now. I just hate to see you ruin your life by making a decision I swear you will never fully be aware of the consequences of for at least ten years down the line. I hate to see you be limited to menial jobs when you have a good head on your shoulders and deserve better in life.
I also hate to see you wasting your time in school if your not into it. I really wish you had a better counseling department at your school so you never even got this far. Just know that even with GED you will always make less the rest of your life. I am soo not scolding you just worried for you. Scotts brother and cousin both dropped out and got GEDs and my husband never eeven went to college because he is in an industry where you get paid more on years experience than a degree. You do have possibilities. I will tell you my husband should have dropped out because his ADHD was soo bad he recalls hardly anything from school - its gets annoying at times because he doesnt know some simple things yet is soo proficient a videographer/editor and he is very happy doing this job.
So the truth is you have to do what makes you happy but you have to know that every decision you make has consequences - I know that more than most as I fuck up everything in my life and always have and alot of people will tell you that which only makes you feel even more like shit - nothing has ever been easy for me its always bee the hard way and I guess thats just my cross to bear.
The reason I almost dropped out of college my 2nd year was I had been attacked and I was flunking out of all my classes and I had never even made a C even on a homework assignment my whole life - but my life was soo screwed up. I couldn't face flunking out of a semester because in college its almost impossible to ever overcome those grades. After going home & realizing all my bills, etc I went back & studied my ass off missed every party and barely ended up with all C's - thank god for that.
Also, I want you to know that even if you get your GED don't just think you have to go to college right away. I think soo many people should have waited until they really figured out who they are and what they want to do before wasting a shitload of $ on school... Take this time to find jobs you enjoy dont just settle... Outback was ALWAYS good to my sister from 16 yrs up through college.
Find somewhere fun that you really enjoy and dont dread going to each day. Thats when you will find fullfulment in your life if not in school.. Right now its just important that you find happiness and I am very glad your dad is there to support you because no matter how many awful times I have had my parents have always supported me even when I thought they would kill me.
Don't ever think Im judging you or hate you or am turning my back on you - its the opposite - Ive been through soo much hell I would hate to see anyone else go through what I have had to go through if they dont have to. But the thing is I can't protect you - only you can live your life and figure out what makes you happy. I will be here for you no matter how much you screw up or how happy you are. You deserve love from your family As much as I would love to show you the consequences of this decision I cant because its your life no matter howvery young you are. Just keep your dad involved in our life whether you want to or not as he will be a great resource for you. Im sorry you are even having to make this decision, but I will always love you and always be here for you even if its just to scream about something I dont even know a thing about. Just please dont think I am criticising you - Im just going through alot right now trying to fight for my own marriage for the 2nd time in a row so I am a lil raw right now!
See life isn't always cheery even if you try to as hard as you can because life happens and you cant change it!
Hopefully Scott & I will see you in August when we come for our best friends wedding. I really hope by then you are doing great and that we can all hang out. We are planning on coming in a lil longer so we can get more time with you all & you can show him Garden of the Gods as he has never been theirl Please keep me updated even if you dont want to as I do worry about you and hope for the best!
love you LOTS, ally
March 15 at 2:47am ·
Allison Lang Buechner
Ya know there are alot of things you can do at my age of 32 that you can't/should never do at the tender/young age of 17 and dropping f-bombs is one of them – your mind just isn’t mature enough to even begin to do things a 32 yr old does – experience brings that about. Ya see at my age I just look stupid and uneducated when I drop the f bomb though I am highly guilty of this and am always reminded by everyone around me how trashy I truly sound - but I deal with it because those are the repercussions of me saying it out loud. I say it so I should expect others to make comments about how uneducated it makes me look.
When someone your age says it, it is like a desperate cry out to everyone to make people think they are older than they really are, which comes out looking sad like they are begging for attention soo bad. You have to understand that what you say will be judged by those around you whether you like it or not – that’s life. To this day my dad will stop talking to me if I ever say that word in his house, even if I say crap I get in trouble and I'm 32. He said I should respect myself more than to have to resort to that trashy language. He does it because he loves me and he hates to see me use such unclassy language that reflects badly on my upbringing and makes me look soo trashy. It also reflects on those around me that I love – and I don’t want to hurt people I love.
So if you can't handle the criticism that comes with the words you use then you are obviously not mature enough to use them in the first place. You can knock that chip you have on your shoulder and move on if you are truly mature to drop f bombs all the time - it shouldnt even phase you what others think then. Cause trust me it pisses me off when people tell me to stop droppin them but its my life, I'm 32 I have gone through a hell you cant even begin to imagine and pain that will NEVER go away -a back surgery all the way down my belly and down my back at the same time with 4 rods 5 screws a plate and cadaver bone that lasted over 8 hrs - FUCK is the only word that will ever describe those things and until youve been at the bottom of your life will you ever understand that – you are way too young and inexperienced to even begin to fathom how horrible life can be.... See More
You make decisions and then get pissed that the people that love them are soo worried about them. That’s what happens when you make a decision like dropping out – you get that attention and LOTS of it because people love you that much. They love you enough to know how horribly this decision will affect the rest of your life, how many things you will miss out on because you dropped out and only got your GED, how you wont even begin to realize how negatively this decision will be on your life until like 10 years from now.
I know you think your all grown up and can make your own decisions – but at 17 you are just a baby you haven’t even begun to experience life and all the decisions that comes with it. Its soo hard out there and your family members only want you to be able to go out in the world with the best backing you could have to be able to handle those situations. Hell I wasn’t ready even after I graduated college – I failed miserably, blew money left and right, didn’t pay my bills and had to declare bankruptcy and that was when I thought I knew how to handle everything on my own… but I didn’t because even at 24 I wasn’t ready to be on my own. Its all those things you go through during all those years that prepares you to be able to make informed decisions.
You may think everyone is yelling at you – but they are just trying to help you make better decisions so you don’t fail. Your family loves you no matter what. If you act more mature and make mature decisions I promise the family would leave you be, but you make shocking decisions then you can t be shocked that it draws attention from everyone.
I really wish you luck and one day ten years from now I would love to this conversation to see what you can reflect back on. Hopefully you will grow up and make better decisions and thrive in your new environment. Unfortunately the stats on dropouts is bad, so I hope you beat those odds. Go prove everyone wrong – study your ass off, get your GED, go to college study your ass off and prove to everyone that you were mature enough to drop out of school… you have the choice.
But don’t be shocked if your actions are judged if you continue on the same path you are on – you draw that attention to yourself the same way I drew attention by winning soo many college scholarships for studying my ass off in school and volunteering so I could afford to go to college… I chose to do that and I got plenty of positive attention from our entire family and everyone around me. You have to know your actions will be noticed, but you cant complain when you make a decision that can ruin your life and you have your family worry about you and your future – they want the best for you.
Do not complain about your family not caring because if anything they care about you soo much…
When someone your age says it, it is like a desperate cry out to everyone to make people think they are older than they really are, which comes out looking sad like they are begging for attention soo bad. You have to understand that what you say will be judged by those around you whether you like it or not – that’s life. To this day my dad will stop talking to me if I ever say that word in his house, even if I say crap I get in trouble and I'm 32. He said I should respect myself more than to have to resort to that trashy language. He does it because he loves me and he hates to see me use such unclassy language that reflects badly on my upbringing and makes me look soo trashy. It also reflects on those around me that I love – and I don’t want to hurt people I love.
So if you can't handle the criticism that comes with the words you use then you are obviously not mature enough to use them in the first place. You can knock that chip you have on your shoulder and move on if you are truly mature to drop f bombs all the time - it shouldnt even phase you what others think then. Cause trust me it pisses me off when people tell me to stop droppin them but its my life, I'm 32 I have gone through a hell you cant even begin to imagine and pain that will NEVER go away -a back surgery all the way down my belly and down my back at the same time with 4 rods 5 screws a plate and cadaver bone that lasted over 8 hrs - FUCK is the only word that will ever describe those things and until youve been at the bottom of your life will you ever understand that – you are way too young and inexperienced to even begin to fathom how horrible life can be.... See More
You make decisions and then get pissed that the people that love them are soo worried about them. That’s what happens when you make a decision like dropping out – you get that attention and LOTS of it because people love you that much. They love you enough to know how horribly this decision will affect the rest of your life, how many things you will miss out on because you dropped out and only got your GED, how you wont even begin to realize how negatively this decision will be on your life until like 10 years from now.
I know you think your all grown up and can make your own decisions – but at 17 you are just a baby you haven’t even begun to experience life and all the decisions that comes with it. Its soo hard out there and your family members only want you to be able to go out in the world with the best backing you could have to be able to handle those situations. Hell I wasn’t ready even after I graduated college – I failed miserably, blew money left and right, didn’t pay my bills and had to declare bankruptcy and that was when I thought I knew how to handle everything on my own… but I didn’t because even at 24 I wasn’t ready to be on my own. Its all those things you go through during all those years that prepares you to be able to make informed decisions.
You may think everyone is yelling at you – but they are just trying to help you make better decisions so you don’t fail. Your family loves you no matter what. If you act more mature and make mature decisions I promise the family would leave you be, but you make shocking decisions then you can t be shocked that it draws attention from everyone.
I really wish you luck and one day ten years from now I would love to this conversation to see what you can reflect back on. Hopefully you will grow up and make better decisions and thrive in your new environment. Unfortunately the stats on dropouts is bad, so I hope you beat those odds. Go prove everyone wrong – study your ass off, get your GED, go to college study your ass off and prove to everyone that you were mature enough to drop out of school… you have the choice.
But don’t be shocked if your actions are judged if you continue on the same path you are on – you draw that attention to yourself the same way I drew attention by winning soo many college scholarships for studying my ass off in school and volunteering so I could afford to go to college… I chose to do that and I got plenty of positive attention from our entire family and everyone around me. You have to know your actions will be noticed, but you cant complain when you make a decision that can ruin your life and you have your family worry about you and your future – they want the best for you.
Do not complain about your family not caring because if anything they care about you soo much…
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